The Top 17 Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped 17> You've got Windows on your laptop. 16> Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave. 15> Your dork is ajar. 14> Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 13> I can see your Gap dancers. 12> Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson... 11> Your pod bay door is open, Hal. 10> Elvis Junior has left the building! 9> Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod. 8> Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir! 7> Captain, sensors detect a wormhole in the forward quadrant! 6> Lil' Shaq's at the free show line. 5> You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary." 4> Your closet door is open and Donato's peeking out. 3> You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 2> I see you have an opening in senior management. and the Number 1 Way to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped.. 1> Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.