Off to See the Wizard Long after Dorothy, Toto and the rest of the gang left the land of Oz, the good witch of the north, Glenda, spent her days floating around in her little bubble gazing at the land of Oz, hoping to see someone to help. One day she passed over a pond and saw a lonely little yellow toad perched on a lily pad. He looked extremely depressed... She floated down to the toad and asked him what could be the matter. “Oh Good Witch Glenda, I am completely colored yellow, whereas all the other little toads in the pond are green. Won’t you please help me?” Mustering up all of her powers, she waved her magic wand over the toad, and his color changed to green. That is, all except his ‘private parts.’ They remained bright yellow. “Good Witch Glenda! Thank you so much, but my lower extremities! They’re still yellow, while the rest of me is green!” “Oh, I’m sorry, dear little toad. My powers are not strong enough. The only person who may be able to help you is the Wizard of Oz.” So, in hopeful anticipation, he began hopping off toward the castle, where the Wizard of Oz resided. Glenda the Good Witch continued her surveillance of the land of Oz. As she was passing over a pasture, she looked down to spot a pink elephant who looked horribly depressed. “Oh, Good Witch Glenda, I am horribly depressed. I am completely colored pink, whereas all the other elephants in the pasture are gray. Won’t you please help me?” Mustering up all of her powers, she waved her magic wand over the elephant, and his color changed to gray... That is, all except his ‘private parts.’ They remained cheerfully pink. “Good Witch Glenda! Thank you so much, but my lower extremities! They’re so pink while the rest of me is gray!” “Oh, I’m sorry, dear elephant. My powers are not strong enough. The only person who may be able to help you is the powerful Wizard of Oz.” “Well, that’s fine and dandy, but where may I find this great ‘Wizard of Oz?’” And Glenda, The Good Witch said, “Just follow the yellow-pricked toad!” Kicking the Bucket A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony, all the same pall bearers are once again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, “watch out for the fucking wall!”