RULES FOR COPING WITH A DATE WHOSE BREASTS ARE TOO BIG

1  Remember, she's not just a pair of boobs. There is a person there
(somewhere): she has needs and your first thoughts should be of her, not her
boobs.

2  Ignore the public for the most part. Unless she's just coming home from
the hospital, she's been this size and had this kind of attention for a long
time.

3  Don't say hello by grabbing her nipples. They are not hands to be shaken.

4  Never volunteer pet names for her boobs. They should be called by their
formal names, Lefty and Righty.

5  Don't say hello by sticking your face into her cleavage up to your ears.
A simple kiss on each breast will suffice.

6  Never - I mean NEVER! - sit on one of her breasts doing an impression of
Slim Pickens screaming "YAHOO!" in Dr. Strangelove.

7  Don't suggest a naked twister game when she takes you home to meet her
parents.

8  It is considered polite, if she drops something into her cleavage at the
dinner table, that you reach in and retrieve it for her.

9  At least once a day, walk behind her while holding her breasts up, to
relieve the strain on her back.

10  Remind her that when in private, she needs to be topless as this lets
her breasts breathe.